Tuesday, February 28, 2012

I am removing the superfluous buns.

Who remembers this scene from Father of the Bride?

This has always cracked me up and sometimes when I feel like I'm being cheated or just frustrated by stupidity, I will blurt out, "I am removing the superfluous buns." It's a miracle I am married and have any friends.

I had this moment while at a local running store over the weekend. I needed replacement bottles for my FuelBelt. They are all a little funky but one of the bottles and caps was beyond cleaning and was retired to the recycling bin. That left me with only 3 bottles for my 4-bottle Fuel Belt. My favorite local running store (shout out to Frontrunner) doesn't carry FuelBelt brands anymore (boo!). While my FuelBelt is slowly disintegrating from lots of use (and its becoming too big as I lose weight, yeay), I really don't want to fork over $50+ to buy a new one just yet. After being inconvenienced for the past 4 months (yes, it's been that long) and surviving on just three bottles of water during my long workouts and confirming another running store carried the replacement bottles, I finally ventured to that side of town.
For those who don't know but are dying to find out what a FuelBelt is, this is what I'm talking about. It's a way to carry water, hands-free while you train for distance events. The Pilot calls it my super hero utility belt. This is very similar to the model I have except mine isn't pink and I have added another pouch to carry my cell phone, inhaler, tissues, Shot Blocs, a quarter (when I was 14 my mom told me to never leave the house without a quarter so I don't.),
a marble (in case I lose any)
and the kitchen sink....and I wonder why I'm so slow.

When I arrived, they didn't have any clear bottles. They only had bright neon colors. Well that's annoying. I'd be carrying three clear bottles and one neon color. Oh well, I opted for green so it looks like I'm drinking Cryptonite.
I also realized they didn't sell individual bottles. You had to buy two. Superfluous! But I rolled with it because my remaining three bottles are borderline questionable if I should still br drinking out of them.

Then I looked at the label. 7 ounce bottles. What? My current FuelBelt carries 8 ounce bottles. They also sold 10 ounce bottles. Why on earth would they sell the FuelBelt with 8 ounce bottles but then sell replacement bottles in 7 ounces and 10 ounces?? A very nice employee came over and asked if I needed any help. So I posed that exact question. She smiled and said she wondered the same thing. I responded, "well that's crazy." (Don't worry, I was being polite.) I also noticed that the replacement bottles didn't have the ounce markings on the side of the bottle. Madness! But not superfluous in this case because now I would have one LESS ounce of water.

Anyways, I ended up buying two green, 7-ounce bottles assuming they would still fit in my belt. As we left the store, I told The Pilot I was playing that scene from Father of the Bride in my head. I'm so cool. Despite being dramatic, none of this really matters. I have more than enough bottles now to go about me merry little way and have my water.

That is until as I was looking for pictures of the bottles on the interwebs for this blog post, I discovered that I can order FOUR 7-ounce bottles (in clear!) on the FuelBelt web site for nearly the same price I paid for TWO bottles in the store. Son of a! This also required some browsing at the new and improved belts. It looks like the new belts all come with either a 7 ounce or a 10 ounce bottle. No more 8 ounce bottles.

So then I just started to feel out of the loop....old school if you will. But what's new? I'm 31 years old. I prefer to shop in local stores where I can look at and touch the product I'd like to buy. I don't have a smart phone, I write my schedule on a paper calendar, I go to bed at 9 pm and I endurance train using an old school Fuel Belt with 8 ounce bottles. Maybe someday, when I've really made it, I will be able to get a new fancy Fuel Belt with all the bells and whistles...and 7 or 10 ounce bottles.

Or maybe I'll just wait until the phone books arrive and then I'll really be somebody.

Yup, definitely thankful someone agreed to marry me and I have friends who look past the crazy...or at least appreciate the comedic performances of Steve Martin.


  1. You're too funny Amber. That added a smile to my day.

    For Christmas, my DH bought me what he deems to be a Nathan "Fanny Pack". I've yet to run with it. I call it my Dork Belt.

    I know it's going to be my saviour on long runs this summer though! I'll definitley be wearing it. It's good to hear you like your's so much and was able to get replacements.

  2. First of all, Steve Martin is amazing. LOVE HIM!! :)

    Second, that just seems ridiculous about the fuel belts. There are probably a ton of 8 ounce belts out there still...you would hope they would continue to make products for them for a little while longer! Dang.

  3. Looking at the bottles side by side, I think the new 7oz bottles are the same as the old 8oz bottles. They just removed the markings from the side. These people agree:

    So if they're the same size, were they ever really 8oz to begin with? Where did the extra ounce go?

    These cans are defective!

  4. I am the crazy lady who is frantically searching for new Fuel Belt bottles on race eve at the expo because I am such a procrastinator. Apparently I am a fuel guzzling pack mule because I covet the 10 ouncers. I swear 7oz would be one swig for me.
    The nozzles do get super funky. Yuck.
    I am such a techno ninny you have no idea. I think just adding my new digs to your blogroll would be a safe bet. : )

  5. I LOVE Father of the Bride AND my fuel belt!!!! I could use a teenier size (I have the 10 oz) although that will change once the summer hits here. Yikes.

  6. Haha, that is a great scene from Father of the Bride! I also think of it when I see stuff like the fuel belt/bottle problem. I was always scared to run with a fuel belt, I thought I'd chafe. I ended up doing the spi-belt eventually for my GU's and other fuel though and that didn't bother me, so maybe I could have done the fuel belt, but the spi-belt didn't weigh much and I wore it over my shirt to avoid the chafe :)