Grown Up Water Wings

With just about 2 months until my triathlon I figure its time to start getting serious about this swim. I've done the distance multiple times so I'm not really worried about it (I know I'm not going to drown) but I'd also like to not have to use every swim stroke known to man just to get it done. You know, I'm tired so I think I'll do a side stroke. I just got kicked in the head so I think I'll do the back stroke now. I'm getting lapped by the old men who started after me so I think I'll doggy paddle for a few minutes. The goal is to swim freestyle for the entire 1/2 mile. We'll see how that goes on race day but in the mean time I think I will train.

I got in 1600 yards (roughly a mile, depending on who you ask on the interwebs) a couple days ago and another on tap tonight after work.

Also, this gem was shipped to my office last week.
This is the Xterra Vortex. Sounds fancy? Hopefully it makes me faster. Anyways...Team in Training is providing tri suits (more on that once it arrives) instead of wet suits this year so I decided to buy a new wet suit to hopefully race in. I have a wet suit from a couple years ago but it had long sleeves and it was so uncomfortable that I never actually raced in it. I think I did 3 open water swims in it and gave up. I thought I'd give wet suits another chance but opted for the sleeveless version so hopefully it doesn't impede in my awesome swim skillz. (Insert LOTS of sarcasm). Bonus, this sucker will keep me more buoyant in the water. This is the grown up version of water wings. It's also race legal (as long as the water temps aren't too high).

I thought about trying it on for my co-workers but that might be a little awkward. So instead, I tried it on in the privacy of my own home while The Pilot was away. I didn't want anyone laughing at me as I tried to shimmy myself into it. These things really should come with some Crisco and maybe one of those shoe horn things. Something else to note is you probably shouldn't try on a new wet suit after you have eaten a rather large Easter feast and have been munching on Reese's eggs all afternoon. But for the sake of the blog, I documented the new water wings.

To make it easier to get my feet through the leg holes, a Target bag and a World Market bag came in handy. This is a legit technique people.
Things got ugly for a little while and I was starting to wish that The Pilot was around to help pull up the wet suit. Several four letter words flew and some grunting was involved but I got it up and zipped. Then I instantly transformed into a super hero. I really need to find myself a cape.
If only one could wear a wet suit under a tight dress. This is the ultimate body control gear. I couldn't help but think of the scene from Steel Magnolias when Dolly Parton is saying she hasn't left the house without lycra since she was 16. "It's like two pigs fightin' under a blanket!" Darn You Tube for not having that clip.

Anyways, back to the wet suit. So far, I only have one issue with this wet suit. I must have a beefy neck or something because this thing is tight around my neck. I'll have to go on a crash diet/exercise program designed to lose an inch in just my neck. Or I'll just have to wait until I get a chance to do an open water swim and see if I get used to it. I hope I do because otherwise, the wet suit does fit and despite my tendency to dramatize, it was relatively easy to get on and it came off pretty quickly also. So here's to hoping this thing helps me cruise along during the swim portion of this tri....if not, I can always use it as full body Spanx. I am going to be a bridesmaid in the fall...I bet I could totally wear this under my dress to hold it all in. What do you think? I just need a bouquet and I'm good to go.
P.S. I have one theory about the neck of this wetsuit. Just like with shape wear, the junk has to go somewhere. And if it can't fit in the trunk, it must have gotten pushed up around my neck. Not a flattering visual but hey, I'm nothing if not dramatic.