You Might Be a Pilot Wife....

1. If you spend 15 days out of any given month on your own.
2. If you go to bed alone but wake up with your pilot snoring next to you. 
3. If you wake up alone but then come home from work to find your husband cooking dinner. (Score!)
4. If your pilot hides Biscoff cookies in your lunch bag.
5. If you look up at the sky every time you hear an airplane.  Bonus points if you can identify at least the carrier.  Double points if you can identify the plane.
6. If you have to RSVP to a wedding as one, maybe two and beg the bride for understanding that you won't know if your pilot will be attending until the schedules come out on the 20th of the preceding month.
7. If you have attempted to take a weekend getaway via non-rev benefits, only to have to change your plans because the flights are full.
8. If by day 3 or 4 of a trip, you almost forget you are married.  Maybe this only happens to newlyweds but there are moments when I pinch myself because I'm not sure if he's real.
9. If you know the 3-letter airport codes for airports you've never been to.  Where in the h- is YYZ??  (Toronto)  BNA??  What about BNA makes me think that is Nashville?
10. If you know there is a direct correlation between a broken APU and the amount of funk radiating off your Pilot's uniform.  Bonus points if you know what an APU is in the first place.
11. If you have tried everything under the sun to get sweat stains out of a white uniform shirt.
12. If you exclusively purchased canned vegetables with the pop-top lids (maybe this is just for the poor FOs who pack their meals).
13. If you know that when you see PHL on the go-home day of your pilot's schedule, you know he's going to be late getting home.  If he makes it home at all.
14. If you have power of attorney for your pilot so you can buy a house while he's at work.
15. If you know that a 10 hour duty day means he's only going to bring home about 4 hours of pay. Give or take.  Usually more duty time and less pay in our case.
16. If you feel slightly guilty when people ask where your pilot is and you respond that you have no idea.  Is it weird for a wife to have no idea what city/state/country her husband is in?  Yes.  Is this weird for a pilot wife?  Not so much.  We don't study their schedules.  When they are gone, they are gone.  It doesn't matter what city/state/country they are in (though out of country trips sucks because cell calls are pricey).
17. If you feel guilty for making more money sitting at a desk all day than he does flying around an aluminum tube and responsible for 75+ peoples' lives.
18. If when someone tells you how cool it must be that your husband has about 15 days off each month you quickly rephrase and politely (or not so much) tell them that your husband is AWAY FROM HOME for about 15 days each month.
19. If you have ever suppressed the urge to call crew scheduling to let them know what you think about your husband having a 25 hour overnight somewhere when he could be home doing productive things like taking out the trash or mowing the lawn or taking his wife out to dinner or ALL OF THE ABOVE.
20. If despite it all, you love that sweaty, exhausted, over-worked, under-paid pilot.

Now it's your turn, my fellow pilot wives.  Have anything to add to the list?