A post-partem update: 5 weeks

I thought I'd do another update post sort of following the same format as my weekly pregnancy posts.  They say the first 3 months with a new baby is really the "forth trimester" so I thought I'd do just a couple more of these updates.

How far along?  5 weeks post-partem
Maternity clothes?  Yes and no.  I lost 20 pounds within the first week after having Megatron.  Most of the remaining weight seems to be in my lower belly and my chest.  Without going into too much detail, I had hoped there would be an advantage to the "girls" in that I would end up being the Dairy Queen.  And for the most part that has become a reality.  The downside to that is dressing my new shape.  The majority of my maternity shirts are too large in the torso yet too small in the chest.  Only a couple of my pre-pregnancy tops fit.  I'm still wearing maternity shorts/capris but they are too big.  But my pre-pregnancy shorts are too small in the hips.  I've been able to wear some lounge-wear and some workout gear which is great around the house but not so much when its time to venture out.  I lucked out and Target was having a sale. . . an additional 20% off all clearance clothing.  I picked up a couple tops one size larger than my usual size which was just enough extra room in the chest.
Have you started to show?  Depending on what I'm wearing, I don't think I look pregnant anymore.  Knowing what I looked like before though, I'd say I have about a 3-months pregnant look to my mid-section. 
Symptoms:  Well, the evil things like heartburn, hip and back pain have gone away!  Almost all of the symptoms from the HELLP syndrome have also gone away.  My blood pressure is back to my normal 110/75 range and no more chest pain!  I was slightly anemic when I left the hospital so I'm still on an iron supplement to help remedy that.  I go this week for a follow up on that.  My body is still figuring out post-partem life though.  There is still some unpleasantness that I won't get into on the internet.  If you've had a baby that wasn't born via c-section, then you know what I'm talking about.
Activity:  Does feeding a baby every 2-3 hours, pumping breast milk every 3 hours around the clock (more on that later) count as activity?  If so, then I'm really active!   I've really started to feel better in the last week so I've been moving around a lot more.  There was the walk the other night and I hope to slowly keep at it so I can try to get back into a decent workout routine.  I've also got a post-partem mom and baby workout DVD that I'm just waiting on the OK from my doctor to try out.
Best moment this week:  Watching "Happiest Baby on the Block" and realizing the tips for soothing a crying baby really do work.  There was also some nursing success!  Since Megatron was early, he wasn't ready to latch on consistently.  He's figuring that part out but now the challenge is his endurance...or lack there of.  He takes a bottle like a champ but the extra work required on his part to nurse leaves him sleepy.  He's too dang small to just let him work at it.  He needs to eat.  So that means nearly every 3 hours for the last 5 weeks I have been pumping in order to meet his demands.  It's exhausting, but we met with a lactation consultant who worked with us and helped us come up with a game plan.  So far its working!  Megatron is now nursing every 2-3 feedings and taking a bottle of the milk I pumped for his other feedings. 
Miss anything/movement:  I'm combining these because I miss the movement.  I didn't think I would but I do miss some of those little flutters.  I certainly don't miss the jabs to my bladder or rib cage but it is a bit surreal to watch Megatron kick and twitch on the outside now.  When I'm cradling him in my arms and a hand or foot twitches, it is as if I am watching the movements I felt from the inside for so many months.  It's so surreal!
Food cravings:  While I'm not quite as hungry as I was in that third trimester, I'm much more hungry than I was pre-pregnancy.  Nursing works up an appetite!  I'm also not picky at all.  I told The Pilot that I feel like I can be easily influenced.  I can see a commercial for some food item and then will want it.  He can suggest something for dinner and then I'll suddenly want that.  I will say the best food has been the food that others have brought for us!  Some homemade, some takeout, it doesn't matter.  People bringing food is probably one of the most helpful things in these first couple weeks (second only to my parents coming over so The Pilot and I can take a nap!).
Gender:  I had this slight fear we'd plan for a boy and then be surprised if a girl actually came out...but Megatron is in deed a boy.  :)  Most definitely a boy as both The Pilot and I have been peed on already.
Looking forward to:  Surviving the first 3 months.  Everyone tells us the first couple months are the most difficult.  I'm holding out hope that it will indeed get easier.  I'm also looking forward to being able to sleep for more than 3 hours at a time.
Not looking forward to:  As if Megatron's arrival wasn't stressful and scary enough, little man has had a few complications.  Most likely from his early arrival but he has jaundice that just won't seem to go away.  We have more testing at the local Children's Hospital and then will have to wait for the results.  I'm not looking forward to any of it!
Milestones:  All three of us survived the first month!  That's all I can ask for!  :)

A Milestone

To celebrate surviving one month of parenthood...and you know, to celebrate Megatron's one month birthday, we ventured out for a walk.  We took the Caddy with us, strapped that baby in and took off...very slowly.

We met up with the group I had been training with early in my pregnancy for one of their group trainings.  To say Megatron was a big hit was an understatement.  Only one person from the group had actually met him and I hadn't seen any of them in quite awhile.  It was so nice to see everyone and be welcomed back.

 I missed this gang so much!

Megatron seemed to enjoy the ride...he slept through the mile and a quarter stroll down the trail only waking up at the very end to let us know he was hungry.  As for the stroller, it worked out great.  It was a little cool and breezy so we pulled both his car seat canopy and the canopy on the stroller to create a little shelter for him.  The window on the BOB's canopy allowed me to watch him for the entire walk which was great.  The stroller rolled like a dream on the blacktop but also did well when we took a short detour through some grass.

Slacker!

Only trouble with the stroller was that I tried to fold it up myself and couldn't figure it out.  The Pilot stepped in to collapse it though.  I told him that I need to practice folding and unfolding it in the garage before I go anywhere alone.  I'd hate to be somewhere and not be able to fold it up.  It barely fits in The Pilot's trunk when folded.  We haven't even tried it in my car yet.

The walk, while slow and short, was much needed.  Megatron has had to have some medical tests done recently to make sure he's staying on track (more on that in another post) and it's been stressful.  My way of dealing with stress has been to workout and since I haven't been able to workout for so long, it was great to get outside to get some fresh air and have a distraction.

It felt important to me to go through all of the motions even though it was going to be a short and slow walk.  I could have just as easily left some casual clothes on but I "suited up;" putting on running shorts, a technical shirt and my running shoes.  I even put my Garmin on.  (1.27 miles if you are interested!)  I wanted to feel like my old self and try out getting ready while also getting Megatron ready to go out the door.  Which is not easy.  Making sure he's fed, changed and safely strapped into his car seat (which is still awkward because he's so small) takes quite a bit of time!  But we managed and we made it to the group training on time.  One point for the new parents!

Hopefully we can slowly start adding more short walks each week.  Even though it was only just over a mile last night, it wore me out.  Mostly in my core, which seems to be non-existent since giving birth.  I get really tired after standing or walking around for too long.  I'm not sure if that is simply because of delivery and being not so active for the last month or if it's still some recovery from HELLP or maybe a combination.  I'm looking forward to getting stronger and I'm not too frustrated by it yet.  Of course I had hoped to be a little more active by this point but after Megatron's unexpected arrival, I'm learning to not have any expectations right now and to just go with it!  I was just glad we made the effort to get out, no matter how short and slow!

A Cadillac

Eighteen hours before giving birth to Megatron, The Pilot and I were at Babies R Us haggling over the price on the Cadillac of running strollers, the BOB Revolution SE.  It felt very much like buying a car.  They weren't going to honor the online price of a stroller they had in the store.  And trust me, when you are trying to buy a stroller with a suggested retail price of $450, you will haggle to get the best deal.  Ultimately we won, got a great deal and took that bad boy home.  Unfortunately by the time we got it home, I was really starting to feel bad.  I was waiting out the hour my doctor gave me before going to the hospital while The Pilot opened the stroller.  A cat immediately had to check it out...

That cat loves a new box!  The Pilot got the stroller out of the box but that's when I talked to my doctor and we dropped everything to go to the hospital.  The stroller was sitting in the family room.  Later that night my dad went to our house to pick up a few things once we realized we would be staying at the hospital.  When he returned he asked us what "that huge thing" in the living room was.  Oh that's just the mother of all strollers!

We've only used it once so far when we took Megatron to a festival at the church I grew up attending.  We had to do some off-roading so we took the BOB since it has shock absorbers.  I'm not kidding when I say this stroller is nicer than my car.

I am hopeful I can use it soon to take an actual walk.  I haven't been given the OK from my doctor to start working out yet but I go in next week for my official 6-week post-partem appointment.  To be honest though, this week is the first time I've actually started to feel better.  Both Megatron and I are still being monitored for our various ailments so between doctor appointments and his "I MUST eat all the food RIGHT NOW" feeding schedule of every 2 hours and me still recovering from delivery and HELLP syndrome, it's been hard to get out and about much. 

When we are both given the ok, you betcha we'll be putting some miles on that stroller!

Kindness and Spunk

The Pilot and I named Megatron for my grandma (No, she was not an 80s cartoon villian...Megatron's legal name is a variation of her name).  I've always been really close with my mom's mom so there wasn't much question about honoring her through our baby's name.

She was actually the reason we told our families we were pregnant with Megatron when we did.  Right before last Christmas, my grandma's health started to decline.  My mom (a hospice nurse) helped set her up with part-time hospice care to help her and my grandpa look after grandma.  We weren't planning to tell our families we were expecting for another couple of weeks but I wanted to make sure my grandma knew she was expecting another great-grandchild just in case something happened.  I told my grandparents on Christmas Day and they were both so excited!  I honestly think my grandparents both enjoy being grandparents and great-grandparents better than being parents!  All the grandkids are their reward for not killing their own kids! :)

I've never considered myself a religious person but I do believe that everything happens for a reason.  Of course the reasons for things aren't always obvious, which can be frustrating when trying to make sense of difficult and challenging situations.  Other than medical reasons, I felt like I was trying to wrap my head around the reason Megatron came early.  And then the reason became clear.

For that first week of Megatron's life, we were in the hospital and then had some follow up appointments and lab work for him.  That entire week, my grandpa checked in a couple times a day with my mom to check on all of us.  My mom had called him when Megatron was born and shared his name and had him tell grandma that his middle name was for her.  He mentioned that he would bring my grandma down to our house so they could meet Megatron once we were ready.  That first week though, we weren't quite ready for visitors between me not feeling well and Megatron's appointments.

On Monday, when Megatron was one week old, I got a call from my mom.  She mentioned that my grandma wasn't doing well and suggested we come to see her rather than my grandpa bringing grandma to us (we live about 30 minutes away).  It would be our first non-medical outing with Megatron.  So on Tuesday morning we packed him up and headed to introduce Megatron to his great grandparents.

My grandma was pretty confused and I don't think she knew who we were but she kept touching Megatron's foot.  She commented on how big his "suit" was (he was wearing a onesie with monkeys on it, which even though was a newborn size, he was swimming in it!) and that he was a "skinny baby."   It was difficult for me to see my grandma in that condition and it took all I had to keep it together.  I wanted to remember it as a sweet moment and not a sad one.  And I'm so glad that I was able to keep it together while we were in the room with my grandma.

Forty-eight hours later, my grandma passed away.  My mom has shared that many of her hospice patients are often waiting on someone to come see them before they pass.  It almost always happens that way.  I have no doubt in my mind that my grandma stayed with us long enough to meet Megatron.  I also believe that this was part of the reason Megatron needed to arrive early.  I am so thankful that not only did my grandma get to meet her great grandson but she also knew that he was named for her.  I've always hoped she knew just how special she was to me but having her know that we named our son for her meant the world to me.  While I knew that Megatron would never get to know my grandma the way I did, it breaks my heart that I didn't get the chance to talk to my grandma more about him.  She didn't get the chance to know him at all.  But I will always cherish the fact that they did meet.  I didn't think that she would remember but the morning after our visit, she told her hospice nurse that she met a baby the day before.  So she did remember.  She may not have realized who that baby was, but she did remember.

The Pilot was there and took some pictures.  We will be able to share the pictures and story with Megatron about that visit.  I'll also have to share all of the wonderful memories I have of my grandma with him.  She was kind and funny with a whole lot of spunk.  I hope that I'll be able to pass along those traits to him.  If he ends up only being half has kind as my grandma was, then he will be better off than most!

To say it has been an emotional two weeks is an understatement.  Between the trauma of my delivery and Megatron's early arrival, the hormones associated with having just had a baby, and the loss of my beloved grandma, it's been a very difficult time.  I just hope that things settle down for a little while so we can all focus on healing.

A Letter to The Pilot: Year 2

Dear Pilot,

Two years ago today I wrote you a letter.  I've referred to that day as the "first day of my life" and we even used a song to commemorate that.    It was our wedding day.  And while there have been countless special moments we've shared since that day, it remains one of my favorites simply because it was the day we made it official to be partners in crime until the end.  And man have we had fun in the last two years!

I wrote you another letter on this day last year exclaiming that I loved you even more a year after our wedding than I did on our wedding day.  And here we are a year later.  I never imagined it possible but another year into our marriage, my love for you has grown even more.  Of course there have been ups and downs, but with you by my side, I feel like we can conquer anything.

This anniversary is extra exciting as we have gone from a family of two to a family of three.  Before I met you, I was fairly certain I didn't want a child but now, I cannot imagine our lives any differently.  You've given me something I didn't even know I wanted.  Seeing you as not just a husband but a dad has been amazing.  I knew you would be a great dad but seeing you in action has me awestruck.  Thank you for taking such great care of me and our son!

Happy 2nd Anniversary.  I love you.

The Wife

Megatron's Grand Entrance

Settle in.  This is going to be a long one!

It’s taken some time to process the last two weeks of our lives.  I don’t know that I have fully grasped it all or if I ever will.  I think I will be forever overwhelmed by the day we became parents.

After my doctor gave me the HELLP syndrome diagnosis, she calmly told us that it was time to have a baby.  It feels like a lifetime ago that she said that but I know I cried.  It wasn’t supposed to happen this way!  The Pilot and my mom were both in the room, which was a comfort.  She explained that while it was still early, it really was the best thing to protect both me and the baby.  I knew in my heart that it was the right decision but my head was so conflicted.  

We tried to keep calm despite the stress.  Obviously we grew up in the 80s....

 "Ouuuuuch."

My doctor checked and much to everyone’s surprise, I was already 3 centimeters dilated.  While I could have easily walked around at 3 cm for the next 5 weeks, it sort of made me feel like it was all meant to be; that our baby was supposed to arrive early and I instantly felt better about what was happening.

I was admitted to the labor and delivery floor of the hospital late on Sunday, July 14, 2013.  An IV was started and they gave me magnesium sulfate for the HELLP syndrome (my understanding is that it is a muscle relaxer that would help protect me from having a seizure) and Pitocin to induce labor.  As they got the IV started, my doctor checked on me one more time before leaving for the night.  I was told I would need a catheter but I didn’t understand why at the time so that was when I asked my doctor if I’d be able to walk around.  When she told me no, I cried for the second time that night.

I was hoping for a natural birth, with as little medical intervention as necessary.  I’m also a realist and knew that this was something I had never experienced.  I didn’t naively go into childbirth thinking that I could handle it without pain medication.  The Pilot and I researched all of the options, read up on ways to naturally deal with pain but also learned about the different medicinal options I would have once in the hospital.  I wanted to go in with an open mind.  I would try a natural birth, but if that wasn’t in the cards, then I would let it go and accept it.  As long as the outcome was a healthy baby, then the “how” he got here wouldn’t matter.

So when the doctor told me that due to the magnesium sulfate I was on, I would be in bed from then until 24 hours after delivery, I was naturally upset.  I was a fall risk (since it is a muscle relaxer), had to be continuously monitored because my blood pressure was going up, plus they were keeping a close watch on the baby’s vitals also.  Part of dealing with childbirth naturally is walking around.  It’s bouncing on a stability ball.  It’s doing everything except lying on your back in a hospital bed.   The Pilot was the one who had to step in to explain to the doctor and nurses in the room why I was upset.  I’m sure I was sitting there crying with a look of panic on my face.   Again, this was not how I envisioned my baby’s arrival.  But I had to roll with it. 

I asked that I at least be told when I was approaching the “point of no return” when it came to making a decision about an epidural.  I really wanted to labor as long as possible without any pain medication.  The only reason I was even still considering an epidural-free delivery at this point was that I had a break in the chest pain.  They had given me something high strength for acid reflux that seemed to ease the pain in my chest a little.  My doctor then hit me with the next blow.  Because of the HELLP Syndrome, my platelet count was low.  My liver wasn’t functioning correctly.  Both were working against me.  You cannot receive an epidural if your platelets are too low.  Basically, if I waited on an epidural, there would be a chance my platelets would be too low and it wouldn’t be an option any more.  The decision would be made for me.  No epidural.  My doctor also warned that if my platelets dropped and I ended up needing a c-section, I would have to go under general anesthesia.  Meaning I wouldn’t be awake for the birth of my baby.  That was NOT an option for me.

They let me think that over for a little while.  And in that short time, the pain in my chest returned worse than ever.  It felt like I couldn’t breathe it hurt so badly.  I’m not kidding when I say I thought my heart was just going to stop.  

Around 2:30 am on Monday, July 15, the resident OB broke my water.  Thirty minutes later I opted for the epidural.  Not for labor pain but for the chest pain.  The resident assured me that an epidural was still an option and that it would help with the chest pain.  I knew I had a long night of labor ahead of me plus I would need the energy to actually deliver.  So in went the epidural.  The chest pain was gone within 15 minutes.  And I was able to rest.  Clearly that was the best decision given the circumstances.  

I tried to sleep but my head was racing, thinking of all the things that hadn’t been done yet at home.  I was supposed to have a couple more weeks to prepare!  While I had a couple baby showers and we had a lot of the basics, there were still things we needed.  I also hadn’t fully prepped the people who would be filling in for me at work.  The Pilot was sleeping on a couch in my hospital room and I didn’t want to wake him up(he hadn’t gotten much sleep recently either), so I finally asked the nurse for a piece of paper and a pen.  It was probably 4 am.  I told her I needed to make a list or I’d be awake all night.  So I made a list…and then got a little sleep.

The resident checked my progress a couple times during the early morning hours, and I was moving right along.  Faster than I thought!  I kind of panicked when they said I was 8 centimeters.  It was about this same time that I started to feel the contractions.  The epidural was wearing off and the contractions were getting stronger.  Part of me was glad that I was feeling something so at least I would know when to push.  And of course the other part of me wanted more drugs because the pain was returning!  

Not too long after that my doctor returned.  I was 9 centimeters.  Say what? The pain was definitely increasing to the point I couldn’t talk through the contractions.  I had to close my eyes, hold The Pilot’s hand and focus.  I didn’t need to be told when the contractions were coming but at some point the nurse or doctor started talking me through each one and gave me the option to do some practice pushes.  That’s all it took to get to the full 10 centimeters.  It was business time.

The Pilot stood right next to my head and counted to ten, three times for each contraction.  In between the contractions I was able to lay back and relax a little (after the doctor reminded me to relax!).  It seemed like time stood still yet moved so fast at the same time.  I felt like I was only pushing for a couple minutes when my doctor told me to open my eyes; that the baby was almost there.  I wanted to tell her I wasn’t ready.  I needed more time! But I opened my eyes and in that instant, she placed my baby boy on my stomach.  I didn’t even know just how “almost there” I was!  I knew the pain went through the roof but I didn’t realize that it was because the baby was well on his way out.  It was like an out of body experience.  I was there but not really.  Luckily instinct kicked in and I grabbed my baby and pulled him closer to me.  I started crying and I can remember feeling overwhelmed and in love…yet also like I was watching a TV show.  It was like it was happening to someone else.  I later found out that that feeling was most likely the result of the magnesium.  The longer I was on it, the foggier my brain became.

My doctor had warned us before I started pushing that it might be a little scary when the NICU team arrived in the room.  She explained there would probably be 5-6 people all working to prepare for the baby’s arrival but that it was standard for the early babies.  To tell you the truth, I barely noticed when they arrived.  I was already focused on getting through each contraction and pushing that I didn’t notice just how many people were in the room.  The Pilot commented later that it was a little scary.

I was only able to hold my baby for a minute before the NICU team took him and started working on him in the room.  Little man came out kicking and screaming but because he was early, he needed a little help.  From my understanding, they gave him some oxygen, but not much and it wasn’t under pressure.    I was pretty fuzzy during this time, partially because of the magnesium and partially because I was still in shock of what had happened and how fast it happened.  I had only been in labor for 5 hours.  I had only been pushing for 20 minutes.  

The Pilot hadn’t left my side and it was my doctor who told him to go meet his baby.  He walked over and stayed with the baby while my doctor tended to me.   A few minutes later, they brought Megatron over to me, a little more cleaned up, with a hat on and wrapped in a blanket.  I was able to look at him and kiss him just for a moment before they took him to the NICU.  As they left the room, it felt like my heart was on the outside of my body and was being rolled away from me.  In my fuzzy, exhausted state, I suddenly became a mom and the worrying started.  And I know it won’t end until I leave this Earth.

I had to consult with the The Pilot about what happened after that.  It all got really fuzzy.  While my symptoms from the HELLP Syndrome continued to go away after delivery, the magnesium sulfate made it very difficult to stay alert.  I do remember commenting to my doctor that labor took less time than it takes me to do a full marathon so I was having a hard time deciding which was more challenging. I also threw out there that because he was early, I’d have an extra month to prepare for what I’m eyeing as my “comeback” race.  Trust me though, this was all said as a joke.  I wasn’t seriously thinking about my “comeback” while my doctor was doing some repair work.  Humor is how I deal with stress.

Once the NICU team was ready to roll, they had The Pilot follow them so he would know where they were taking him.  I guess my parents were pacing right outside my room and were able to see Megatron as the rolled him down the hall.  I don’t remember how long The Pilot was gone but he came back and told me that he looked great and that he would be able to go back to check on him once they got Megatron all set up in the NICU.

I’ve been through some pretty rough challenges in my life but the 24 hours after Megatron’s arrival was the most difficult thing I have ever experienced.  Because I wasn’t able to get out of bed, I wasn’t able to see Megatron.  Since he was in the NICU, they couldn’t bring him to me and I couldn’t go to him.  It was excruciating.  I took comfort in knowing that The Pilot was able to go down to check on him as often as he wanted, but I wanted to see my baby.  Again, this wasn’t what I had envisioned for my baby’s first day!  The Pilot took lots of pictures and video and would come back to my room to share them with me.  I cried every single time.  My family and The Pilot’s parents all came and all took turns visiting the NICU with The Pilot (Only 2 people were allowed in at a time and one had to be a parent).  I was jealous that everyone else was getting to see the baby and I couldn’t. 

It also didn’t help that I felt pretty awful.  The longer I was on the magnesium, the more fuzzy my brain seemed to be.  People were coming and going and I couldn’t keep my eyes open.  I wanted so badly to look at the pictures on The Pilot’s camera over and over but my eyes wouldn’t stay open. 

Twenty four hours after delivery, I was taken off the magnesium and was released from the labor and delivery floor to the post-partum floor.  Before taking me to my room though, I was finally able to see Megatron.  I can’t even begin to describe what that moment felt like.  I had waited for what felt like an eternity to see him.  It was also scary because he was in an isolette, hooked up to all kinds of wires and had blue lights shining on him because he had developed jaundice.  He was doing really well, it just looked worse than it was.  Even knowing that though, I wasn’t prepared for seeing him like that.

Our little glow worm

I think this picture says everything I was feeling in that moment.

Over the next two days in the hospital, both Megatron and I regained some strength.  The evening of his second day, he was released from the NICU to the normal nursery, which was a huge relief for us.  He was still under the lights for his jaundice but other than that, he wasn’t hooked up to anything.  We were able to keep him in our room on our third day, which became the first day we spent together as a family.  It was looking like I would be released later that night, and we began to worry that we would have to leave him behind in the hospital.  The hospital staff continued to monitor Megatron’s jaundice, and eventually decided that he could be released as well.

We gathered our belongings (which seemed to multiply while we were in the hospital) and The Pilot got a head start out to the car while Megatron and I were loaded into a giant plastic cart.  It was part cart and part wheelchair.  We hitched a ride and a patient aid rolled us down to the front entrance where The Pilot was waiting.  On the ride from the post-partum floor down to the lobby, lots of people stared, some asked how old he was and there were a few “congrats.”  We were quite the spectacle.  And the entire time I was thinking “these strangers better not try to touch my baby!”  Ahhh yes, the paranoia begins!

Week 35

 Week 35

How far along? 35 weeks
Maternity clothes?  I went to the wedding of a childhood friend on Saturday and the occasion required a dress.  I found a simple black maternity dress at a consignment shop for under $15.  Score! The pictures proved that black is slimming.  :)
Have you started to show?  I'm starting to feel like a freak show.  Strangers are now commenting.  I've had one "you look like you are about to pop" and a lady who was chatting with me through the changing room wall in the spa locker room.  I was there to get a prenatal massage (best baby shower gift ever!) and as I was getting undressed I hear a voice through the wall, "when are you due?"  Umm...why are you talking to me while I'm naked??
Symptoms:  During the wedding on Saturday I noticed some pain building in my chest, just below my heart.  I figured it was bad acid reflux, which I've had trouble with more and more in the past couple weeks.  We left the wedding early and I tried to sleep it off.  By morning I was feeling better and we ran to Babies R Us to try to pick up the last few things from our registry.  While we were there the pain returned.  I laid down when we got home but it seemed to be getting worse.  I called my OB's after hours line.  She suggested I try maalox but only gave me an hour to wait for it to kick in.  If not, it was going to mean another trip to the hospital.  And after the whole kidney stone ordeal, I really did not want to go back to the hospital.

But just over an hour later, that's where I found myself.  And I obviously was not enjoying my stay.

Going to the hospital ended up being a very smart decision.  And I'm so thankful that my doctor was onto something and only gave me an hour to see if the maalox would work.  Turns out it wasn't just heartburn.  After an EKG ruled out a heart attack (at least I wasn't crazy in thinking something was wrong with my heart.  I doubt they would have done an EKG just for funsies), an ultrasound ruled out gallstones.  When the pain in my chest radiated up into my right shoulder and arm and my blood pressure started to climb, the doctors started throwing around terms like "a form of pre-eclampsia" and "only cure is to deliver."  That's when my OB showed up.  Late on a Sunday night.  My mom (who was at the hospital with us and is a nurse) was the one to realize that things were getting serious if my own doctor decided she needed to see me and not just leave it to the senior resident.  I was realizing that the night was taking a strange turn when there was nothing they could give for the pain.  I was begging for the drugs they had given me during the kidney stone.  I didn't understand why I couldn't have anything until my doctor arrived.  My doctor is amazing and her calm demeanor kept me calm as she explained the diagnosis of HELLP Syndrome.  While she never said it, after Googling it later, we realized it is a life threatening diagnosis if not caught in time.   Meanwhile, Megatron was as happy as could be.  I was taking a serious turn for the worse yet he was just hanging out with good vitals and movement.  So I knew my doctor wasn't taking my condition lightly when she suggested that in order to keep him happy and healthy and to prevent me from getting sicker, I needed to deliver and I needed to deliver soon, even though it was 5 weeks too soon.

You could have scraped my jaw off the floor.  After going in for what I though was acute heart burn and to be told it was time to deliver a baby, I was stunned.  That was not even on my radar.  Ever since the ultrasound at 20 weeks revealed he was a pretty big baby, I've been worried about delivering a "monster baby."  And for the first time, I was incredibly thankful for how big he already was.  Delivering 5 weeks early, while still really early, was the best decision for my health and his. At that point, the risk to me staying pregnant far outweighed the risks of having a pre-term baby.

And so on Monday, July 15 at 8:01 am, The Pilot and I became a family of three with the addition of Megatron.

6 pounds, 20 inches

I'm still processing all that happened and not quite ready to dive into the rest of that story but I will share more about Megatron's arrival into the world soon. For know though, we are both doing much better!

As for Megatron's name?  No, that isn't his legal name.  Sorry but we won't be sharing that on the blog.  We didn't want him to Google his name later in life and come across all of his mother's confessions about parenthood.  Very much like the reasons I don't share The Pilot's name on the blog.  We didn't want to reveal too much about our family on the internet.  I mean, someone might want to run for office one day and we don't need any incriminating evidence floating around. ;)