Hot, Itchy Mess

The other day I mentioned that a "medical situation" came up that prevented me from meeting my tri team from a practice triathlon. No, I am not prego. That thought never crossed my mind until The Pilot mentioned that is probably what people were thinking when I referenced the medical situation. Ack. That is definitely not the situation....I was referring to poison ivy. Remember how much fun I had sliding down steep ravines on my a$$ during the Mud Run TWO weeks ago? Not so fun now. Apparently it can really take up to two weeks for the symptoms to appear.

If you get grossed out easily, you may want to turn back now.

I noticed what I thought was a bug bite on Thursday. Then on Friday morning, that bug bite itched like no other bug bite in the history of the world. By Friday night, I was on the phone with my mom and wanting to claw my legs off. My mother, the nurse, has had many run-ins with poison ivy herself and with my older brother. I was the clean, weenie kid that never wandered around in the bushes so I have never had it before. So my wonderful mother diagnosed me over the phone. It was poison ivy for reals. Damn! The only time in my whole life that I've wandered around in the bushes was two weeks ago at the Mud Run.

By Saturday morning, it was all over my feet, legs and a$$. :( I barely slept because it itched so bad! I knew that I would be miserable if I went to the practice tri and tried to hike up that wetsuit over my legs. Instead I laid in bed and tried my hardest to not scratch as I waited for the doctor's office to open. When they did answer the phone, they told me to try Calamine lotion and if that didn't help or if it got worse, to schedule an appointment on Monday.

The Pilot ended up having to call off his most recent trip because he now has the nasty cold that I had last week. So after two more near sleepless nights for me, The Pilot called the doctor's office on Monday to schedule his and hers appointments with the nurse practitioner. The nurses joked that we were really taking that in sickness and in health vow seriously before we even make it official.

Anyways, they gave me a shot in the hip and sent me home with one prescription to fill immediately and another to fill in case it doesn't get better or goes away and comes back (what??!!) by the end of the week. A few people told me that the shot seemed to clear it up really quickly. I was hoping for instantaneously but no such luck. I slept horrible again last night so I feel like a zombie and I'm doing my darnedest to not scratch the itches....or itch the scratches. If the government needs a new way to torture people, then they should roll them around in poison ivy and then tie their arms down so they can't scratch.

So it's been over 24 hours since the cortisone shot and no relief yet. Ugh. If you see me, please don't judge if you notice me trying to scratch my backside on a street sign. And for the record, I've been told by a medical professional that I can't spread it to someone else....unless you happen to share the same street sign.


Internet research says to discard or wash thoroughly in bleach any clothing that came into contact with the poison ivy. The only thing I kept after the Mud Run were the tank top, capris and the tutu. I'll be washing the clothes again but I'm not sure what to do about the tutu. I should probably burn it but that thing wasn't cheap...and it makes for some great conversation starters during races....

So we are a hot, itchy mess at our house. The Pilot already caught my cold and I think he's a little leery of even looking in my direction for fear I'll give him my poison ivy. He might call off the wedding if that does happen. And speaking of the wedding...I promise my mother and my future mother-in-law, on all that is Holy that I will NOT do anything else fun, crazy stupid before the wedding.